Do Relationships Still Exist?











I was having this discussion with a friend of mine the other day and I thought it would be interesting to discuss it on here, and see what other people think.

So much has changed in our generation compared to our parents in terms of dating. Most people go through the 'seeing each other' stage and never go further. What I like to call relationship limbo. Everything seems to be based on the idea of sex with no strings attached. Everything is a game, nothing is simple. You can't tell someone how you feel oh no, you can't text back too quick otherwise you come across too needy, there's too many rules to dating these days. I wish things were more simple, but they're not. Maybe it's something that's hard for me as I've been single my whole life and I find it hard to admit to people how I feel, as my biggest fear is rejection. I've been so infatuated with one person in my life for 2 years now, but I can't seem to ever admit my feelings because of how the dating world works. Most of the time you know deep down when something is not going anywhere, but it's hard to stop because you don't want to accept it. It's common for a lot of people. What I've come to learn, is your twenties are about dealing with the pool of fuck boys, honestly we're all fucked. It's so hard to find a decent 'man' these days, most of them are trash. They manipulate you, then suddenly ghost you when things are going well. I've seen it from the new generation, girls hop from guy to guy, because it's the norm. Why do they do this? Are they bored ? Scared ? Scared of commitment.

Its crazy back in the day most people were married or having kids at my age , I'm nowhere near that stage. I think in our generation people are getting into those situations when they're a lot older, or not at all. Maybe we are the generation of forever seeing each other or in open relationships. Is romance truly dead?

I'm no genius with this, If anything I'm the least experienced. I haven't dated many people, I've only properly 'seen' one person. I'm 21 and I've been on 2 dates in my life. I'm in the position where I am scared of it, I feel like I've been so affected by men that I find it hard to let people into my life, I don't want my feelings to be hurt again. Heartbreak sucks. Especially when you're in love with someone. I've only really been in love once, but what is love? Surely, I can't be in love with someone if they couldn't care less about me. It's funny when you really like someone, they can do literally anything awful, you will always see the best in them. The amount of times friends will say 'let this man go, he's awful', I will always have something good to say about them. Why am I like this? Why am I so protective of someone so awful to me? Why do we let men break us over and over again, knowing that we are never going to be happy? I'm happiest when I'm with this person, I could spend weeks with them and prioritise it over everything else, because at least I'm with them. Then after we're not together I am completely sad. I spend most of my time depressed rather then happy because I know that I will always be in this limbo.

I often despise people in relationships as I never understand how they actually get one. I feel like it is impossible. How do you get a guy to actually commit? It's not that I hate being single, It's more the fact I hate not being in a relationship with the person I love. I get jealous of people who find someone who is willing to commit and love them unconditionally. I question, how did they find their happily ever after? Where is my fairytale ? 

Women constantly invest themselves in how to make a guy like them. Reading articles over again in Cosmo, 'how to get the perfect man'. Constantly sending screenshots of messages to friends overthinking every single reply and message to who we like. Everything is so staged, nothing is raw or real anymore. We feel we have to be someone else in order for them to like us. Everything is a game which no one ever wins, It's a cycle where we go from one game to the next. Relationships are like an exam, no one wants to put the full effort into them as we're scared we're going to fail, we revise every detail, overthink certain aspects. We question every little thing. He said "see you later." When is later? Does it mean we will meet soon? 


Putting a label on things is seen as too much. The question 'Where is this going?' Seems like the most daunting question ever. No one wants to label things anymore. 

It seems like everyone likes the idea of a relationship, but don't actually want to commit. I think deep down people do but we are all too afraid. I think online dating and technology definitely has made a big impact on everything. It's easier to get a 'fuck buddy'.  For a man it's like a kid in a candy shop. They want all the candy. As well as this, in regards to social media people often like the illusion of a relationship and how to make it seem perfect. People would rather spend hours getting the perfect picture that is relationship goals then actually spend time with their significant others.

People are often so infatuated with the perfect world, so desperate to find the 'perfect' person then actual real love. We all have a type, but most of the time the real love isn't our usual type. Some people you just have a spark with, it's about the chemistry, you love someone for them, you end up falling in love with their flaws. Usually you surprise yourself for who you fall for, obviously that's not to say you will NEVER date anyone that's your type.  But when you are in love the excuse of " They're not attractive enough" won't matter to you.

Relationships seemed so much easier for the older generation, people would fall hard for each other, if it was obvious the man would usually ask the girl out, all the feelings would speak for themselves. Now it's too complicated when you realise you like each other. You go from being casual and fall for each other, then it goes to panic mode. No one wants the commitment. It's never the 'right time', there's always an excuse that means no one can commit, one person 'isn't ready', someone 'just came out of a relationship' etc. There never is a right time, the best things come when you least expect it or at least when you're not looking for love. Our generation seems to forget relationships will never be easy, they're only good when effort is put into them. We have become lazy and things are too easy. Guys don't seem to want to make an effort. This is because they've either been in too many messed up or needy relationships and think every girl is like this. They would rather have the easy fuckboy approach and not risk having their feelings hurt. 

It's a lot easier for guys to go from girl to girl, but for us it's a lot harder as we're more vulnerable. We get more attached and care too much. We are made to feel more insecure about ourselves.
Men like the idea of having different girls because they don't have to worry about commitment, don't have to worry about introducing them to family, they don't need to let themselves be vulnerable or heartbroken, because that's not 'manly' or 'cool'. Guys can be vulnerable too, but they just don't want anyone to know it. Is this why they can't accept commitment?
They're afraid.




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What's your opinion?

  1. I love this post, despite being in a relationship, I agree with what you’ve said after seeing my friends in those situations. It’s sad that people are so scared because of the heartbreak they receive in their life, if only finding love could be that easy and would stick rather than taken for granted xxx

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  2. This is amazing! So much truth is in what you’ve written, I’m in a relationship but from my experience from when I was single I totally agree with everything you’ve said. It does feel so much harder now a days to find someone who will open up to you and fall in love with you. Really really loved this post xxx

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  3. Oh girl... I know the stress. To be completely fair to you, I'm ace, so I am so out of them game XD. But back when I thought there was something wrong with me and I dated, I just didn't understand the rules of it. I never understood holding back the texting just because "I don't want to look needy". Come onnn, when people like someone and they're at the first stage of excitement, it's obvious you're all over the clouds with the person, why even hide it?!

    Sora | http://dangerouslyme.com/

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