Start Living Life

 Bodysuit: Urban Outfitters | Trousers : Missguided | Boots: JustFab | Coat : Nasty Gal | Jewellery: Topshop


 This blog post has definitely been a long awaited one for me. The last few months have been really tough for me and i'm just trying to get back onto my feet, start living life. I often find myself in certain situations constantly saying no and making little excuses not to do certain things, most of the time the main reason is i'm scared. I suffer with anxiety which doesn't help and I find I constantly make possible scenarios in my head thinking the worst in things. Particularly with photography I put myself down with it and don't take opportunities, I feel i'm not good enough, i'm shy etc. It's so silly, I know, with this you just need practice and keep taking every opportunity you get, but if i'm being honest i've lost myself. A lot of situations have happened to me which have affected me badly, loosing my confidence and my determination. Since starting university my mental health has reached its lowest point. I don't want to sound like i'm looking for sympathy, I just want to change my attitude. I want to start saying yes to more opportunities because let's face it you only live once.

I haven't watched Yes Man in a long time but I definitely think it's a movie I need to watch to motivate me more. When I was working I found I would stop myself from meeting up with people as I would constantly use the excuse of " I'm too tired". I hated being like that as it wasn't me. Usually I would make sure i'm out almost all the time, I hated being home, I liked constantly doing something. Hanging out with people I loved, doing what I enjoyed, anything productive. When i'm at university I find myself not doing anything, i'm constantly dreaming of how much I wish I was living life and not being there. The fact i'm constantly dreaming i'm doing something with my life is a sign I need to get off my arse and start being the determined Saffy I used to be. I'm never gonna get what I want by sitting on my butt wishing everything was different.

My main risk at the moment is quitting University, I never know if it's the right choice and it frightens me. Life is all about taking risks, if you never take risks you're not living life to your full potential. Someone I once worked with said to me, if something in life frightens you, it means you should do it. Obviously if someone tells you to jump off a cliff and that frightens you, maybe not do that. But what I mean is jump more in the deep end, learn to take more opportunities. Another thing I want to start doing is stop living in the past or future, live in the present. It's all about being happy now. I think a big part of life for people is being afraid of the future, what they're doing now might affect their future or fantasizing how it can be better. You should be happy in the present, take every day as it comes. You never know what will come around the corner for you.

What I want people to get out of this blog post and even myself is for them to realise you can change the present if you start being more of a yes man and taking every opportunity as it comes and doing what's gonna benefit you now.

I hope everyone has a fabulous new year and starts 2018 on a positive note. 





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@saffyneedham