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Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Fuck Valentines Day, Love Yourself

Fuck Valentines Day, Love Yourself
Tuesday, 13 February 2018
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I miss being young. Those were the days you didn't have to worry about your appearance, the future or basically anything. My biggest worries were how on earth am I going to look after my Tamagotchi when i'm at school? Am I ever gonna get that Barbie i've been lusting over? Nowadays my head's a mess. I'm constantly worrying about the future - My career, relationships and who I am.

Overall I am someone who has 0% self love for myself, I constantly beat myself up for every little thing. I always feel like i'm never good enough. I think my figure is one factor that constantly puts me in the dumps. I every now and then share pictures of my body, this is my own little way of trying to learn to love myself. Most people slut shame me for it and often say what I post is "pornagraphic". Geez! Can't you let the girl try and learn to be accepting of her body and excuse me its 2018 are we seriously still offended by women's bodies and whether or not you can see a girls nipples through her clothes ( but free the nip is a whole other conversation to be saved for later date ) . Although I may post these pictures, in no way does it make me completely okay with my body, i'm still trying to learn to love myself and taking pictures allows me to get that step closer. Taking these kind of pictures is a big step for me, it's never easy for me to post them, but I try to tell myself , love your body and don't care what people think. Most of the time it's not other people who are the main issue, it's myself. The way I see myself is awful. If I heard another girl say the kind of things I feel to themselves. It would kill me. I would have a moment with them just to tell them they mean everything and what they're saying is not true. If I feel this way to other people, why can't I be offended and stop me from being so hard on myself.

I think often we can be our own demons to ourselves and we need to get out of this habit. If you love yourself then no matter what anyone says, it's not gonna hurt you. I think having not much self love it's hard to make it in this world and be successful. If you're constantly putting yourself down, you just got to believe in yourself and think, YES! I am good at what I do. Damn, I need to start listening to myself more often. So what I say is fuck Valentines day this year, love yourself, do you! Because "IF YOU CAN'T LOVE YOURSELF, HOW THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE, CAN I GET AN AMEN IN HERE!"

                                           







Wednesday, 7 February 2018

NICCE OOTD

NICCE OOTD
Wednesday, 7 February 2018
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I'm having so much writer's block at the moment, which is very annoying, as I wanted to do more larger blog posts, kinda column sorta style. Hopefully soon I will suddenly have 10 ideas and I can save them all for future posts. There is one thing I wanted to start doing with every blog post and that was to have a song I recommend listening to. A fellow blog friend of mine Ali  recommended me doing this as I love my music and I want to add more of it to this platform. I think it's a fabby idea so i'm gonna start doing it from now on. Also every now and then I will include playlists for different moods and a playlist of the month. Lots of music discoverys for you guys ey ! Let me know if you like the idea or have any ideas of anything else more music related. 

I was kindly sent this hoodie from the brand NICCE, and damn it's comfy. It's nice to find a jumper which is really soft, roomy and looks fabby on. I'm usually a person who NEVEEEER dresses for comfort, because I care too much about creating a "cool" outfit. But paring this jumper with leggings like this can definitely spice it up. 

You can check out more black hoodies womens by the link.

So before I finish my post off as promised, here's my track of the day : 

                                                                                        
If you like The 1975, then you will definitely like Pale Waves, I recently came across their music and they're bloody fabulous. They have the 80s synth pop kinda sound and if you know me then you will know I love the 80s. Also if anyone knows of any cool indie pop bands, i'm always up for discovering new music hehe.




Jumper: NICCE | Leggings : Sacred Hawk | Shoes: Urban Outfitters | Necklace: Just a random dog lead ( because i'm so extra ;) ) 

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Monthly Music Favourites | Pink Camo OOTD |

Monthly Music Favourites | Pink Camo OOTD |
Tuesday, 30 January 2018
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I want to start posting more music related stuff on my blog, I think music has a big impact in my life. It can affect you so much, whenever I feel down, music is a way to make me feel better. I promise if you put a really delicious sounding sing-a-long song and just dance your pants off, it will make you feel so much better. One thing I loooove doing in my spare time is, making playlists, I love it so much. My dream job may even be a playlist curator for spotify, spotify pls make a gals dream come true.

I'm gonna start making playlists for you lovely people, to show what i'm loving at the moment or any playlists I make for particular moods. I do admit I need to set a day to just improve all my playlists, some are a bit random ha. But you know there is a few gooden's to look out for. Anyway, so here it is, all the songs i've been loving this month, give it a listen, there's some funky songs on there you probably haven't heard before!



Top: Missguided | Trousers: Missguided | Jumper: Missguided | Shoes: Urban Outfitters | 

Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Why I Left University

Why I Left University
Wednesday, 24 January 2018
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This post has definitely been a long awaited one and it's something a lot of people aren't going to agree with. So generally at my age or when you're at college you get peer pressured into university, particularly by teachers and society in general. University has became the norm these days, I find a lot of people look down on you if you don't go. Personally I don't think university is for everyone or neither it "has" to be. Obviously I understand if you want to be something like a doctor you have to go. I want to make it clear now, i'm not trying to say university is pointless and if you're someone creative you shouldn't go, blah blah blah. I'm just trying to make people feel better in my situation or understand why I have taken this path.

Since I was at college I never decided if university was for me, I kinda boycotted the idea and did a foundation degree, mainly because I couldn't decide and to be honest I knew I didn't want to go. Generally I did my foundation degree because I felt like I "had to study".  I am definitely happy I did my foundation degree as it ended up being the best year of my life. During that time though there was extra pressure to go to university, a lot of our lessons ended up on trying to do university applications. I wasn't fond on the idea, but pressure made me feel like I had no choice. I kept questioning, what am I gonna do instead? Am I going to get anywhere in life if I don't go? I took a year out as I never decided, then the year went by and I still never decided. I remember the night before I was moving down I burst into tears because I didn't want to go. My mind kept telling me I have no choice, I have to go. 

I went to study Fashion photography at Falmouth University, I honestly HATED the idea of living in Falmouth but the course was perfect for me and I couldn't find any that suited me better. Honestly it doesn't matter how good the course is, if it's gonna be in an area that you don't like, don't even bother. Learn from Sapphire Needham's mistakes. Moving to Falmouth honestly destroyed my mental health. I was not in a healthy state. What made it worse was how it would take me between 8/12 hrs to get home and couldn't really afford to go home. I spent most of my days crying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't turn up to most of my lectures as I would always oversleep or just felt too depressed to go. It's weird I ended up sleeping all through the day and wake up in the evening and go to bed at 5 in the morning everyday, my sleeping pattern was fucked, to say the least. Most of the time I would put the absolute minimum amount of energy in my work because all I cared about was not failing. If you know me that's not who I am at all, with photography I usually pour my heart and soul into it, I usually try to do stuff I can't even do.  

Before university I never really suffered with panic attacks but I started to get very bad ones every time I went to a lecture. I remember at one point my leg was shaking so much, I had to hold it down with all my energy possible, it was beginning to scare me how much I was shaking. Most of the time I didn't know why I was having the panic attacks but it prevented me from going to most of my lecturers as it happened every time I went to one, I honestly couldn't cope with it. 

In general I think the whole pressure of going to university effected me a lot and the location. My whole time I was there I felt like I was stuck on a campsite and couldn't escape. Obviously some people would probably disagree as they may love Falmouth, but i'm more of a city girl and to be so far away from a big town, I did not enjoy that. I hated the fact I was missing out on so much exciting stuff, I love going to gigs, going to bars on the weekend. I missed Brighton, I needed somewhere like Brighton. I missed being in a town where everyone was so creative and so fun. Everything is on your doorstep and you have London which is just a short train journey away. 

A lot of people are going to pressure you into going to university, what I say is don't listen to anyone. Listen to yourself and do what you know is right for you. University is NOT the only path you have to success. Your mental health is far more important than anything. Quitting university was the hardest decision of my life, I felt like I was destroying my life by leaving. The looks people gave me when I said I was quitting, they looked at me like I just threw my life away. Honey my life is just getting started. Don't listen to anyone, do what is right for you. No path is the wrong path. 

I just want to add a little thank you to 3 people who actually made me have some good memories at university : Lauren, Venezia and Abi - seriously I don't know what I would of done without them.

On another completely random note, excuse how muddy my shoes are, I walked through some very unpleasant puddles in my lovely white shoes, ha ha ha - I feel greaaaaat.

If you're ever in a similar situation to me when it comes to university, you're always welcome to ask me for advice or just about my experience with it. I'm very happy to help. I've been there and it wasn't a pleasant decision, it was very tough for me to decide.



Top: Urban Outfitters | Polo Neck: Missguided | Dungarees: Urban Outfitters | Shoes : Urban Outfitters | 
Thursday, 18 January 2018

Why It's Horrible To Be A Girl On A Night Out

Why It's Horrible To Be A Girl On A Night Out
Thursday, 18 January 2018
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When it's a late night in town it can be very daunting as a woman, especially when you're on your own. Most of the time I can roam the streets confidently and not be phased by it. Often as a woman if you are on your own this is usually the moments you have men victimising you, it can be little or big things. Often it's just them wolf whistling or saying something to you as you walk past. Honestly, it can sometimes get quite scary. I've had a few scenarios happen to me, but obviously nothing compared to what has happened to some woman out there, but it makes you feel super uncomfortable. These situations don't just happen in the dark though it can even happen at 9am in the morning, it happens all the time. It just becomes the most unpleasant generally at night.

Last Night I was walking around in the rain trying to find a toilet as I missed my last train and I was stuck in Brighton and I was searching for somewhere open and I was already freaking out as I was stuck in town and my phone was on 5% unable to reach anyone. I then on my journey came into contact with a group of men who were saying to me "well aren't you sexy" and circling around me and repeating it, I felt so trapped. I honestly burst into tears after it happened, I felt so silly doing that as usually I can deal with these situations well, but today just wasn't that day. I've had times before where i've had people grab me, but i'm just thankful it wasn't one of those days. 

I'm one of those people that does not know how to protect myself, I can't tell people to stop, I just go all awkward and don't say anything. I think the worst situation I got in was in a nightclub called Coalition. I had this man talking to me and I remember feeling very awkward and mouthing to my friends "help me" as he was making me feel very uncomfortable, I can't really remember what he was saying as it was so long ago. I just remember my friends laughing and pointing at me to our other friends. I hate coming across as "mean" so I can't ever tell someone to leave me alone. Anyway this night I chose not to drink so I was completely sober. This guy said let's go to the bar and get a drink, I said I was good but he just took my hand and dragged me to the bar anyway. I asked for a water and the guy I was with gave it to me. Shortly after I suddenly found him pushing me against the wall, he was squeezing my bum and grabbing me everywhere. I felt frozen, he kept trying to lick my ear, I kept moving my head everywhere away from him as I didnt want him to kiss me and I was trying to stop his hands. He was grabbing any place on my body that would make me feel the most uncomfortable. It was so hard to do anything as it was so busy and nowhere to really move. I can't remember how I got out the situation as it was all a blur. After I drunk the water I suddenly came down really ill, I ran to the toilet and was throwing up. I'm not sure if he put something in my drink or I was just shooken up from what happened. I've never had a moment like that where i've felt as scared as I did in that situation, I felt like there was nothing I could do to get out of it. I was hoping someone would see and help me. I just pray that any other woman that gets in a situation similar to this has someone their to protect them or doesn't feel trapped like I did. It's not like I ever came across like I was "asking for it". I'm just thankful it didn't become any worse than it was.

My main point I want anyone to get out of this is please be super careful when walking alone in the streets at night, or when you are at a club or bar. There are men out there that will take advantage of you. You just have to be stronger than me in these situations and be confident and just tell them no means no. If one of your friends are in trouble or if you see another girl in trouble, please help her. You don't understand how important it is to help them. The amount of times i'm glad i've had my friends there to help me or drag me away, i'm so thankful! 

On a more happier note, look how beautiful this two piece is from Elsie and Fred, i've never felt so fabulous in an outfit in my life. I'm so sad, as I ordered some beautiful earrings that I thought would look perfect with this look, but they didn't arrive in time :( Hopefully I have another sparkly kick ass outfit I can match them with hehe!

Anyway Hope everyone's having a fabulous week and chat very soon! 


Top: Elsie And Fred | Trousers: Elsie And Fred | Coat : Urban Outfitters | Choker: Missguided | Necklace: Nasty Gal | 

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